Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
