Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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