make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
