He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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