Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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