NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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