But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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