Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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