I need help removing her.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
