I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
