just come out here and I will go home with you...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
