Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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