id be glad to
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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