Duck Duck Cougar?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
