I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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