I CAN MOONWALK!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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