Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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