i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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