drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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