some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
