its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
so much tequila, so little girl.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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