wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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