I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
