OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
