Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
