In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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