We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
