brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she woke up with a sticky ear
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
