Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
