is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
