I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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