you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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