i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
