you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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