Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
