I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
