If i could tip my vagina, i would.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
