would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
