Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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