All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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