the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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