The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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