I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
