Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
