I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
