What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
