My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
