I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
