But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
