By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize