OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
