If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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