Dual....:-)
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
