do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
