Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
