Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize