I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
