normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he puts the penis in happiness.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
