did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize