Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
