This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize