what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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