sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
