Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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