For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
