Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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