last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
