Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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