It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
